5 Questions to Ask Your Soulmate Before Deciding to Get Married
Getting married is a major life-altering decision. Its very imperative that we know the person we marry. In order to know a person deep down, to understand his life philosophies, to get to know his/her core beliefs and lifestyle, we present to you 5 important questions that you must ask your soulmate before deciding to get married.
Every individual is different, how they operate on day-to-day basis can be a revelation once you marry and start living together. Many of the differences can be skirted around or faced head-on with maturity and understanding. However, there are a few non-negotiables that every couple must discuss before they decide to get married.
Table Of Contents
Religion and Values
Agree to Disagree?
Ask your soulmate about his/her income
Finance is the backbone of any household. Every person must be aware of the income of his/her partner, the source(s) of that income, their savings, assets and liabilities, spending habits, saving pattern and the existing household expenditure.
Once the awareness of each other’s finances is complete, the couple should sit together and discuss how going ahead in future will the expenses be taken care of. If both the partners work, who will contribute to the household expense and how much. How will savings take place, how will the payment of the bills take place and how do they intend to manage their personal expenses. Also, it should be taken into account – if any major change that is going to occur post wedding and how will that be paid for.
To be precise, finances have to be planned and discussed to the T. This also ensures ample transparency and is the best way to avoid any conflagration in future.
Ask your soulmate where does he/she intend to live.
Where does the couple see themselves in future? In India, it is the bride who moves into the groom’s house. Usually, it is a joint family setting. In the modern times, the couple may also decide to live as a nuclear family. In that case where does the couple intend to buy the house, how would they finance it, will its proximity be to the groom’s workplace or the bride’s? Will the locality be safe enough when the family expands to have a child?
In case if either the groom or the bride is already working outside of their hometown, is the other willing to relocate? If no, what could be the alternate solutions. Do they have any plans to move abroad? Is there a career-scope for both the partners to the new place they will be relocating to?
These factors need to be discussed in detail prior to the marriage.
Ask your soulmate whether he/she would like to have kids.
Having kids is a humongous, momentous decision. The family created when planned is the best sort.
It is important to know whether your partner likes kids; whether he/she would like to have any of his own. Especially the woman. How does having kids fit into her career goals or lifestyle and health?
Is the man ready to take on additional financial and domestic responsibility during pregnancy and post-partum?
If it’s a power-couple or the playful fun-loving one, are they both ready to slow down and alter their lives to accommodate wailing babies, nappy changes and night feeds? Bringing kids into this world is easy, bringing them up is a challenge. Are both the soulmates ready to take up this challenge and work as a team?
Also, ask them in the case of being unable to conceive naturally, what could be the options. Would they prefer to have medical interventions or adopt a child or let nature take its course?
Knowing what your partner thinks about these points is extremely crucial.
Ask your soulmate which religion he/she follows and what are his/her values.
Before marrying, a person must know which religion is followed by his partner and what is his value system.
Our daily life is dictated by the religion we follow and every religion has a set of Do’s and Don’ts. Some of these rules might not sit well with you. You may want to review these before marriage and understand from your partner which ones are non-negotiable.
Also, one’s value system defines one’s character. If you really want to know your soulmate well, look at the values he abides by. Are they in sync with your world view? Are your values in sync with his? If not, what can be changes to align these? Are both of you willing to bring about that change without regret and dislike?
Ask your soulmate if he/she can agree to disagree.
No two individuals are the same. You are not marrying your clone! There are bound to be differences. Disagreements. Arguments.
What is important is that these disagreements shouldn’t drive a wedge in your relationship. The arguments must not escalate into never ending fights.
Thus, before deciding to get married, ask how does your partner propose to resolve the differences that might arise? Is he/she mature enough to understand your point of view and come to a common ground or is he/she the one to immediately say, “My way or the highway…”